Rating: - The Ocean's The Only Place for a Squirrel (And Entertainment!)
The first real episode of SpongeBob I ever saw was Texas. And believe me, it will always remain a firm favourite. (It will always remain firm full stop.) It was what started the landslide of other favourites, and when I got the Nautical Nonsense and Sponge Buddies DVD, I'd already seen half the eps on that one on the Nautical Nonsense VHS. But still, the Sponge Buddies section kept the DVD going, though let's face it, a few eps were a little weak.
Why do I ramble anyway?

Ripped Pants.
SpongeBob's always been a little jealous of Sandy hanging out with Larry sometimes. But when he gets the chance to impress both at the weight lifting section in Goo Lagoon (by lifting 2 marshmallows on a stick), he's humiliated when he accidentally rips his swim pants!! That is, until he finds out they're laughing with him, not at him. So if lifting weights gets a big laugh, then frisbee in face must kill, and surfing must knock them dead. But what about pretending to drown? It's got a song, which is always a good thing. - 9 outta 10.

SB-129.
Some people will go to any lengths to get away from something. Even freezing themselves in the freezer for a couple of hours. But Squidward goes a little too far and freezes himself in the Krusty Krab freezer for 2000 years! He wakes up on March 6 4017, the year of chrome, clones and 486 letters of the alphabet. Even the present SpongeBob was better than this! But how to go back? It's a time travelling, clone critizising, can opening, manners-reminding, jelly fishing good time! - 10 outta 10.

Texas.
Sandy's sure been tense lately. Sand castles, karate and even jelly fishing seems to have touched a nerve on the homesick squirrel. She really misses her hometown Texas. But when it comes to SpongeBob and Patrick, that's no reason to leave her bubble and catch the first bus back!!! Not when they've got a slice of Texas waiting for her at the Krusty Krab! Will mocking it with their "dumb Texans" impressions do the trick? Or have they finally bitten off more than they can chew? And is home really about barbecues and piquant pies? Trust me, it isn't just another song that gets me for this episode, though it does help. Always a classic, never a cliche, nuff said. - 10 outta 10.

The Graveyard Shift.
To extract more money from the hungry customers, Mr Krabs introduces the open forever scheme and the night shift. Well, SpongeBob sure is enthusiastic, which is more than can be said for Squidward. But the night is the perfect time for a ghost story. And who better than the Hash Slinging Slasher? Mind you, it isn't true, even Squid knows that. Though those lights are looking mighty suspicious. And who's that on the other end of the phone? And surely the buses don't run this late... Scares the eyelashes right outta your eyes, until the big finale ending. (Just who is that zombie, though?) - 10 outta 10.

Something Smells.
People avoid him in the streets. Even those he knows refuse to acknowledge him. SpongeBob's confused. He can't be ugly, he's a sponge! But if Patrick insists... what can cure the ugly? A pep talk? A story? A disguise? Or just a movie? Sheesh, it must have been something he ate. Or something he and Patrick ate, for the stale peanut onion sundae looks appetizing to a starfish. Confusing at points, but eventually teaches all a meaningful lesson: DON'T EAT ONIONS OR ANYTHING OUT OF DATE! - 8 outta 10.

Jelly Fishing.
Everyone knows jelly fishing would be the thing to make the best day ever the best day ever. Not soup, or music, but jelly fishing. The only sure cure for the blues. But it doesn't do wonders for a guy's health, especially with those stingers. If only Squidward could tell SB and Patrick that as he sits there in a wheelchair recovering from an unscheduled mountain biking trip... Not as good as the others, which isn't like Squidward. But then again, could the fact that he's bound to a wheelchair and considered immobile in this ep have something to do with it? - 7 outta 10.

Dying for Pie.
It's Employee Brotherhood Gift Exchange Day at the Krusty Krab, and Squidward is less than thrilled. Especially as he gets 2 sweaters from SpongeBob. 1 from eyelashes, and 1 from tears. And after all that, he has the nerve to accidentally get him a bomb pie. SpongeBob cries his sweater in tears. And he kills him. Mr Krab's seen it before, and the way he sees it, the sponge's got until sunset. Squidward's so overwhelmed with guilt, he does everything SpongeBob wants to do with him in his final hours, and shows so much affection he drowns in it. But how will he cope when he has to watch the sunset? A wonderful, valuable episode. Please do not underestimate it. I beg you. - 10 outta 10.

Wormy.
It's big. It's brutal. It ate a favourite pet of Sandy's while she's away. It ate SpongeBob and Patrick's new best friend. Yes, it ate Wormy. Then Squidward. Then Mr Krabs. 3 people too many. This monster is on a rampage. This monster is after Bikini Bottom. This monster is rubbing its ugly fangs and coming for you!!! This monster; known simply as... the butterfly. One of the weirder episodes, but respect its value and you'll see the joke. - 8 outta 10.

F U N .
Poor Plankton. So very lonely, being an evil super villain that people step on. A touched SpongeBob tries to befriend the guy, and a reluctant Plankton accepts. The pair of them have so much fun together, but what is the super fiend scheming? And how will a movie prove it? An episode about the meaning of friendship. Sort of. But after 3 watches it kinda grows on you. - 8 outta 10.

Club SpongeBob.
Squidward, a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs, can just about fit in anywhere. Except SpongeBob and Patrick's secret club, which is just plain cramped. No room whatsoever. So cramped, in fact, that on trying to get out Squidward accidentally sends the club house flying thousands of miles away from home. The two main members trust in a talking toy called the magic conch, and due to its word just sit around doing nothing while Squidward tries to get out and eventually just survive. But yet, doing nothing seems to bring a feast to them, while he just has to settle with a beetle. Is Squid cracking up, or could the conch be true to its word? Only one thing to say to this. All hail the magic conch who invented this ep! - 10 outta 10.

A totally recommended DVD, solely for Texas. Texas you will love. The others, ultimately you will adore. Howdy y'all!