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Rating: - Oh, what might have been....
This was the premise of a classic toy line and the classic cartoon that emerged from it: When the planet Eternia-think a futuristic Camelot-comes under attack by the demon sorcerer Skeletor in an attempt to abscond with the mythical Castle Grayskull and thus conquer the universe, Prince Adam, teenage son of Eternia's King Randor and Queen Marlena, discovers that he has been chosen by destiny to bear Grayskull's power against all who would threaten Eternia's safety. By raising the enchanted Sword of Grayskull aloft and shouting "By the Power of Grayskull," Adam is transformed into the superheroic swashbuckler He-Man, and proceeds to do battle with Skeletor...and to try and prove himself to his demanding father.

From that premise, Filmation created a terrific cartoon that, even though it had its share of `80s cheese, was rich and complex, deftly mixing Arthurian legend with sci-fi. At its essence, MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE was a coming-of-age story set against a high-tech sword and sorcery backdrop. As such, it had the makings of a great movie. Unfortunately, the low-budget Golan-Globus team (which destroyed SUPERMAN IV) got their hands on it, and we the viewers got cheated. The essence of MOTU was trashed; the Adam/He-Man duality and everything it entailed was tossed away. Several critical characters, like Randor, Marlena, Cringer/Battle Cat (Adam's pet tiger), and the like were ignored. And finally, 90% of the character and set designs immortalized by the toys and cartoon were changed as to be unrecognizable. Only Man-At-Arms, Skeletor, and Skeletor's lover/servant Evil-Lyn emerged on film as being visually recognizable as their cartoon counterparts.

So what did we get in return? We got a shameless, low-budget STAR WARS rip-off. Instead of the myriad beasts, demons, and cyborgs that Skeletor employed in the cartoon/toy line, we got three beasts and a bunch of armored stormtroopers. Instead of getting a He-Man who captured the feel of the character, we got a wooden Conan wannabe who relied more on laser guns than on his sword. Instead of a story that spanned Eternia and carried the appropriate sci-fi/fantasy feel of the series, we got a story that took place primarily on Earth, complete with a crabby cop and two ditzy teens. Instead of having a skilled, experienced director at the helm, we got unsteady, pedestrian direction from novice filmmaker Gary Goddard (whose day job was designing amusement parks). Sure, we got some excellent FX work, a great Bill Conti score, and a terrific Castle Grayskull throne room set, but we also got bad costumes, a stupid Grayskull exterior that looks like a pirate ship, a plotless script that's all noise and no depth, substandard fight choreography, and really bad acting. Only Man-At-Arms (Jon Cypher), Skeletor (Frank Langella), and Evil-Lyn (Meg Foster) are well-acted in this film; Langella's theatrical performance in particular is the film's saving grace, and deserved to be in a much better movie. Otherwise everyone else in the cast stinks. Dolph Lundgren is a perfect physical match for He-Man, but the guy can't act and his awkward Swedish accent has been the butt of fan jokes for years. Everyone else is just too vapid, too bland, and just too unsuited for the roles to be any good. This film needed to be a big-budget affair with top-rate actors and a script that followed the cartoon closely, not a STAR WARS wannabe that fails on most levels. THE BEASTMASTER with Marc Singer was far closer to the spirit of MOTU than this film (and Singer's Dar looked and acted far more like He-Man than Lundgren's hero did), and is a vastly superior movie. Pretty sad that the actual MOTU movie didn't even come close to matching that level, isn't it?

To be fair, I initially saw this film when I was 9 and enjoyed it, but over time I realized how weak it really was, and how it could have been so much more. While I don't HATE the film, I don't like it too much, either, and it hasn't aged well. This summer, Mattel will relaunch MOTU with a brand-new cartoon series and toy line that retells the story of Prince Adam/He-Man from the beginning. Hopefully, if Hollywood decides to make another go at a He-Man movie, they'll use the cartoon as the baseline and get it right this time. As it stands, the 1987 film is an OK way to kill a few hours, but as a He-Man film and as a fantasy film, it just doesn't cut it.

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